Two Doors Down: The Arrow
On my return from
work covered in dust, sticky hot, a letter awaited
from home
five long yeas away
I looked at the
letter I thought, hopelessly, I’m never
going home.
I don’t know these people
anymore
And they have taken
leave of me and set me adrift in a coracle in their minds.
Because even if I’m only two doors down
I can only live in my
house.
In my skin.
And whatever is
happening two doors down is not what I’m doing
It’s not my
conversation
Not my life
Two doors down – two continents,
five thousand miles apart.
I can only be in one
place at a time.
and so to the letter…
This time I’m writing
home to England.
Shirley (named after
Temple) says to me – “don’t say anything negative,”
She tries to vet and
sensor my letter as if from prison, with black permanent marker
Striking out words
and phrases that displease,
“Only write positive
things, lie if you have to.”
It was the last thing
she said to me.
And really this was
the very last - because I never saw her again,
It was,
“you are coming back
aren’t you?”
Seemed odd at the
time.
But when I came all
the way, five thousand miles and five time zones, back home
I stayed.
And I have never
left.
Two doors down or two
continents away.
It’s a binary option,
The letter from home
was a pull, a misery deep.
A temptation,
A call to another
life
Two doors down
And one I ultimately
took,
And how very simple
to step out of my shoes pull the door closed behind me
Step into the night.
The South Carolina night
with singing cicadas, vines and magnolias, stars in a deep blue sky
My favourite
constellation ‘The Arrow’ pointed down at the house.
And then I stepped through the mirror.
Now ‘The Arrow’ is upside
down,
Pointing into the sky
And the night is
crisp and cold, frost crystals circling yesterdays puddles
The fresh ozone scented
breeze lifts my hair and sets it dancing
Free.
One letter
can do all this.
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