Childhood Bed

I’ve just dropped off
No not in my own bed
But in my childhood bed

This room once had bunk beds
For me and sissy
Me on the bottom
She on the top

This was the time of our ABBA tapes
The cassette player played till we wore it through and sang ‘Take a Chance on Me’ no more
And Girl’s World chatting away giving her rags and curly hair dos
Hours of plaiting and painting faces
Arms and legs too and once our whole bodies

And we are us, here, now – a calm in the house
Because of the missing person
Without him
There is peace, tranquillity, joy, happiness
This peace could never have been
Our holidays together
Long breakfasts at the table
would not have happened
His thoughts were closed to me
And when he left
His presence remained in his
Clothes
Instruments
Books
Shoes
But now a new allegiance reminding us of
Triangular times.

Mother myself
I lie in my childhood bed
And look out at the tree – always there
Full of cackling magpies and
Bounding squirrels.

I’m sleeping in anticipation
In clam prayerful watching
I’m asleep
And Mum wakes me
It’s not morning
It’s not time to go to the hospital
But the import of the time
Has dawned
And she wants to say so
To me
Before tomorrow.

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