Breathe 

Not again
I don’t  want to go through this again, I don’t want to, I don’t want it, I don’t want it
Take it back to the kitchen this is not what I ordered
This is not my life
This is someone else’s
I don’t want to go through
This again
I don’t want her
To go through this again
And not now when she will remember
It was bad then
But at least it was before her memory
Remembered it all but now – she knows and understands with crystal clarity all it is that she will suffer
Take it from her – give it to me
Don’t make her suffer it breaks me.
I am overwhelmed by my own emotions

Fear, 

But stop.

I make a fist and inside the fear
I open my palm and I give it
I offer it
I offer and surrender it
Small as a hazelnut
I offer it and let it go
And I breathe
I let it go with the breath of Ruah
It lifts and floats off and
Is hidden in Shaddi
And I do not need to worry
Or transmit
I can
Just
Be
Breathe.

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