Dream Poem 44: Gangland


I am in a gang, it’s a seriously bad gang. I can’t escape.
They capture my sister, she’s a nurse.
Soon they’ve grown bored of her and have a plan to dispose of her
by drugging her or killing her with drugs.

I know but I can do nothing.
I want to tell her to warn her but I can’t.
I know when she goes into the bathroom to get changed
into her uniform they will have put the drugs in there and
expect her to take them - to comply.

I know but I can’t warn her.
They would kill me too
I am in fear of my life
My life hangs in the balance
One wrong move and I will be killed.
We are enmeshed and the only way out is death.

But she doesn’t take the drugs,
she comes out of the bathroom and goes to work.
I ‘m so relieved but scared
knowing they will kill her, just later.
Part of me is disappointed she didn’t die and be released
and I’m ashamed for feeling and thinking this way
I’m ashamed for not telling her
and I’m ashamed for not helping her.

An older man is involved
he is so small like a child,
I know this is no good and they will soon tire of him and kill him too.
It all happens too quickly,
we are in a market place,
it’s so packed there is no room between one person and the next
they have him on piggyback.
He is doomed
and I see they have just told him.
His face is a mask of sheer terror and fright.
I am right behind him on piggy back.

He turns around and mouths ‘help me’
Ah God this is like pure torture to me what can I do?
He is in the hands of murderers
and I cannot help or I’ll be killed too.

As we pass each other I take his hand and I pray for him,
this is all I can do.
I see his cross under his shirt
I pray and I weep with frustration as I see him taken away.
His face turned to me in despair.
And I’m so angry with myself.

In the house at breakfast a new girl comes down from upstairs,
a student
I have five minutes alone with her
‘Leave now while you have the chance, go don’t look back’
but she does not.
She doesn’t know the danger she’s put herself in,
she is doomed unless she goes now,
but she doesn’t realize it.
I try many arguments and persuasions

but she doesn’t go. She won’t listen.

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