Two Doors Down: The Arrow

On my return from work covered in dust, sticky hot, a letter awaited
from home
five long yeas away
I looked at the letter I thought, hopelessly,  I’m never going home.
I don’t know these people anymore
And they have taken leave of me and set me adrift in a coracle in their minds.

Because even if I’m only two doors down
I can only live in my house.
In my skin.
And whatever is happening two doors down is not what I’m doing
It’s not my conversation
Not my life
Two doors down – two continents, five thousand miles apart.
I can only be in one place at a time.

and so to the letter…
This time I’m writing home to England.
Shirley (named after Temple) says to me – “don’t say anything negative,”
She tries to vet and sensor my letter as if from prison, with black permanent marker
Striking out words and phrases that displease,
“Only write positive things, lie if you have to.”
It was the last thing she said to me.

And really this was the very last - because I never saw her again,
It was,
“you are coming back aren’t you?”
Seemed odd at the time.
But when I came all the way, five thousand miles and five time zones, back home
I stayed.
And I have never left.

Two doors down or two continents away.
It’s a binary option,
The letter from home was a pull, a misery deep.
A temptation,
A call to another life
Two doors down
And one I ultimately took,
And how very simple to step out of my shoes pull the door closed behind me
Step into the night.

The South Carolina night with singing cicadas, vines and magnolias, stars in a deep blue sky
My favourite constellation ‘The Arrow’ pointed down at the house.
And then I stepped through the mirror.

Now ‘The Arrow’ is upside down,
Pointing into the sky
And the night is crisp and cold, frost crystals circling yesterdays puddles
The fresh ozone scented breeze lifts my hair and sets it dancing
Free.
One letter
can do all this.

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