In The Computer Screen

  
In the computer screen today
I watched my contours
The computer is taking a long time completing a task
It draws in my eyes
Dawning in my eyes is me reflected in the black screen
In the black
I don’t see it at first because I’m thinking about my next computer action
But then I see me - it’s a black me
with harshly contrasted blacks and whites
The window on one side throwing a strong white light
and the darkening room on the other side and in the screen
Black.
And I’m there in the screen and there in the room
and somewhere in between neither in the room or in the screen
but like infinity between the two places
travelling having left a long time ago and knowing I have a long way yet to go.
Committed to the journey
fatalistically committed
I don’t have a choice this is a reality, an immoveable, irrefutable, undeniable truth.
And my journey is one every one of us has to go through.
The Father has abandoned me.
He has left me.
Now I have to carry on
Without his presence and guidance
Without his comment and judgement
Without his say so.
I am now an adult, free of childhood, free of the person I was.
I am reborn.


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