Dream poem 89: Disingenuous Back Problems
There are three or four of us with back problems.
I am across town
teaching a community class
outside is a ‘Back Problems Van’.
Later the van is at Kirkstall Abbey
I return with Pudsey people to go to the ‘Back Van’
It is a lengthy day
of seeing doctors and nurses
and procedures
but at l the end of it our backs are better.
I am the first one through
and I see the assembled doctors
and thank them for their intervention.
And I say
“My back had been previously so bad that
I couldn’t even put the handbrake on or lift a child without
pain
Now it is completely well”
Even as I am saying it
I felt completely disingenuous.
My back had not been that bad for years.
As for lifting the kids
At thirteen and fifteen
I do not carry or lift them at all anymore.
I felt it was what the doctors wanted to hear
especially the lady doctor.
She wanted us to be grateful
She wanted to make a difference.
It was part of a script that should be said.
She was very tired
and had been doing the same thing for a long time,
long hours with ingrate patients.
At the same time as she wanted thanks, she also didn’t
believe me
She looked tired and jaded
But accepted my attempts.
I returned to the centre and collected my paintings
The Pudsey people were there waiting
for their turn to give a speech.
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